Been a while…


Well I’m sorry to say my passion for writing was overtaken by bereavement and grief, followed by ‘busy-ness’ which is a cop out for not doing some of the things that make me happy…like this!

A lot has happened since last posting here, but hey, I’m not here to talk about me! This website is about sharing insights that might (in some way) help you ‘The Reader’ who was kind enough to take the time to read these posts.

Being busy is one of those common excuses we all make without realising what an irritating habit it can become for those around us. Keep telling people how busy you are and before you know it, they just stop asking you to meet up or join them when they go out for dinner or to a party they’ve been invited to.

Listening to an audio book recently by Dr Wayne Dyer called ‘Excuses Begone’ made me realise just how many excuses our minds can come up with and just how conditioned we are into believing them! It’s a great book if you want to learn more about getting rid of the excuses we make.

It’s useful to note each time you say you’re ‘too busy’ and question it. See what interesting thoughts come along…like more excuses perhaps? Bringing it into your awareness helps you realise that you really are making an excuse for not doing something else.

What is it you are depriving yourself of enjoying or having? Friends, company, laughter, fun?

Or are you avoiding doing something you know you should do? Things like; raising money for your favourite charity, visiting an elderly relative, tidying your room, getting fit, losing weight, developing yourself physically and mentally…are just a few that spring to mind!

Don’t worry, we all do it. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Changing your excuse habit of being too busy is only a decision away. Just ask yourself the question next time you have the thought of being too busy and see what comes up.

It can be good fun and quite revealing and a great way to mastering your thoughts too.

Try it next time you make this an excuse to yourself or someone else.

That’s if you’re not too busy;)



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In memory of…

Special Girl (640x480) (2)When you lose someone or something close to you that you loved unconditionally, it feels like you lose a piece of yourself that leaves a void that cannot be filled with kind words or thoughtful cards. You still feel them around you and see their beautiful, happy face as if they have never left the room. There is a heaviness in your heart when you realise that it is only the strength of their memory that is keeping this image alive in your mind’s eye and the love that you have for them is a bond that can never break…

For us it will never be the same without her, she has been a big part of our lives for over fourteen years and was special in every way. A beautiful soul that brought so much joy into our lives and so much love from the day we rescued her to the day she passed away.

Bless you sweet little one…we miss you x

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Right Action

20121231-094208.jpgI stumbled across a great saying today on twitter from which reminded me that sometimes right action is no action:

‘Not helping is sometimes the most helpful way to help people help themselves’

As a close friend of mine pointed out it bears the same message as that famous saying;

‘Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for life’

This can be one of the hardest lessons to learn if you are anything like me i.e; one of life’s fixers where you see the obvious answers and doing nothing is unthinkable. It seems we have an innate desire to help people by giving them advice even when they haven’t asked for it. We deem it simply our duty to offer a cascade of options with an assortment of tried and tested solutions that ‘fix’ them or their problems.

Ever been on the receiving end of copious amounts of advice like this? Remember how it feels?
It seems as human beings we have an inner most desire to help people, which is not such a bad thing if they really need our help. The challenge here is knowing when they really do and being brave enough to hold back when they don’t.

The very essence of giving out advice when people have not asked for it means that you are stealing their power to think for themselves, work it out in their own minds and have their own aha moments that just might turn out to be a unique turning point for them.

As a natural ‘fixer’ I have to be conscious of this when coaching others. On more than one occasion I have (just about) managed to stay quiet long enough to give them time to think a solution through, then right before I’m about to blurt out the answer – wham! They get it themselves! OK so it wasn’t the solution I thought they needed. NO…it was theirs, which was better for them not me, and that is the whole point….isn’t it?

In this fast paced, high tech, no time to think world we now inhabit, we really could help more by creating and holding the space for people to think for themselves, stop offering advice when they haven’t asked for it, and start offering encouraging feedback when a person comes up with their own solution. Even when it is a mismatch to the one we had in mind for them.

This is the true meaning of ‘self help’ and in these lessons where we found our own answers, we discover resources within us that will serve us well throughout our lives.

Be helpful by learning when to hold back and when to step forward with your wise words!

M x


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Speak Your Truth

On a flight to Milan I read some interesting articles on fashion, fame and empowered women. How ironic when off to Milan in fashion week; not to visit the shows but on business. These articles got me thinking about how many amazing women there are in the world creating the life they choose to lead, creating the life of their dreams and encouraging other women to believe in themselves. This is a sign of the times where despite the media giving women the wrong kind of attention at times, there are many more taking courage and well…just getting on with it really!

One article I read was an interview with Selma Hayek who, despite being Mexican and unpopular for US film parts she applied for, fought on regardless to win roles (against the odds) where she has now become recognised for being a great actress and inspiration for other women who encounter discrimination because of their race.

Its not easy being a woman at times and I should know. Working in a male dominated industry for many years makes you hard on yourself and others. The feminine caring side can be well hidden for fear of looking like a push over or softie, and comments like ‘she only thinks like that because she’s a woman’, have not been uncommon when I’ve been in meetings and stood up for someone.

From these experiences (and too many to mention here) you would think I had learned to keep my opinions to myself by now and be less outspoken….quite the opposite. I’m renown for speaking ‘my truth’ and not being one to keep quiet when someone comes out with some utter insult to me or one of my co-workers. However, word of warning; although I often felt better for speaking up and saying what I thought, it doesn’t make one popular and hasn’t always served me well.

I share this because someone once told me that ‘wisdom is learning from other people’s mistakes’ and you may want to learn from mine. Yes, please do speak up and speak your truth, just pick your moment and audience! Timing is everything. Be kind, always be kind. To yourself and others when you speak.

Over time and through much work on myself (my true work!) I am able to use a better way of expressing the thoughts in my head when being challenged in a negative and sometimes very personal attack during a disagreement. That is to put yourself in the others shoes, watch their eye movements and body language and feel for them before you speak. Take a deep breath and speak from the heart. It will serve you well my friend.

Keep speaking your truth…
M x


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This too will pass

20121013-095918.jpgAnyone who has ever suffered with any kind of food poisoning or tummy bug will know what it’s like to feel totally locked in the moment of it all to think anything else but what you are going through. It can be pretty painful and unpleasant to say the least, and any kind words or soothe sayers have no chance of breaking the barriers we put around ourselves during this time as we wallow in the hideousness of it all.

I recall my experience well, and for someone who promotes positive self talk and mastering your thoughts, the only thoughts I could muster at the time that were remotely positive was ‘this too will pass’.

Unpleasant situations do pass. If we let them that is. Sometimes you just have to let go and allow whatever it is that is causing you pain and suffering to run its course. Whether that be a relationship that is causing you unnecessary suffering, or an illness…either way, holding onto the pain, or thoughts around it serves no other purpose than to perpetuate the problem and feed its hungry craving for control over you.

The body/mind connection has always been a source of fascination and study for me. Louise Hay explains it extremely well in her book called ‘You can heal your life’. Here she highlights how a negative mind-set (especially about oneself) can bring about dis-ease in various parts of the body. We often hold onto pain mentally and emotionally and if we do it long enough, these thoughts and emotions manifest into physical pain in our bodies. Our perception becomes our reality and how we think can change our lives and our health.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. – Abraham Lincoln

Our natural state is to be happy, healthy, vibrant beings living a life of peace and doing the things that bring us joy. So how come we are not always happy and healthy then?
The reality is this: what we think about, becomes true for us.

How we think of ourselves creates dis-ease if those thoughts are not aligned with our natural state. If you are unhappy or dissatisfied in any part of your life, something is not right in your thoughts, feelings, or actions, and this in turn manifests and reflects in your body.

The ‘Course in Miracles’ states that all dis-ease comes from a state of unforgiveness and that whenever we are ill we need to look around to see who we need to forgive. Quite often the one that needs the most forgiveness is yourself.
Thoughts and feelings of self loathing, critical self talk when we have made a mistake or self depreciating comments in the company of others all goes towards creating disharmony within our bodies.

However, it always amazes me how quickly the body can heal itself if we facilitate the appropriate actions such as bed rest for recovery, water to prevent dehydration and a nearby loo for…need I say more!

As synchronicity would have it, I recently heard that there are ways to separate yourself from pain by disassociating with it; one of many techniques used to cope with chronic pain. Our mind plays an important part in how we deal with pain, so distracting my mind during this unpleasant experience with my little mantra of ‘this too will pass’ served me well…because it did eventually pass I’m pleased to say!

I wish you a healthy mind for a healthy body
Love and light

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Morning has broken

I love mornings like these. The birds are singing, the sun is shining and the day is full of possibilities.

In the words of Macy Gray; ‘Get up, get out and do something, don’t let the days of your life just pass you by…’ I decided it’s time to stop procrastinating and take action, starting by getting my tired body out of bed and into the garden on this sunny start to the weekend.

Jet lag is debilitating and it’s taken me a few days to get back into the swing of things and be really strong with my thoughts of ‘you deserve a lie in, rest, relax, it’s been a busy week, blah, blah’. But I could lie here all day and ‘lie’ here all day to myself that things will get done in good time…which they won’t if I talk myself into staying put!

Positive self talk helps us (as many of you lovely people drawn to this site already know). However, and it’s a big HOWEVER: No amount of positive thinking is going to lead you to a fulfilled life of your dreams without taking action!

Each day do at least one thing towards making your goals and dreams come to fruition. If it’s to lose weight; join weight watchers or a similar group TODAY and read one of the many inspiring books there are. If it’s to get fit; stop reading this, get off your backside and start moving! Dance round the room or go discover one of the many alternative ways to exercise your body and mind. If it’s to write; pick up a pen and paper, or go to your computer and just write…anything at all! How about painting? If this is your inspiration, go grab a blank sheet of paper, or better still a blank canvas and sit there with your brush ready and see what comes to mind. Who knows, it may turn into the next most sought after piece of art ever known!

The simple action of doing some activity towards your desires will ignite the passion within to achieve them.

Remember, you are only one thought away from making a decision that could change your life or others for the better.

M x

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Work to Grow

Your true work is you!

The very nature of us human beings (or most of us) is to look for the path of least resistance. When we do, we are less likely to be stretched to increase our capabilities and be better than we are today to achieve more of what we want most in life.

This notion came to my attention whilst reading a wonderful book by John Whitmore called ‘Coaching for Performance‘. He defines performance as going beyond what is expected. How often do we do that? How often do you say to yourself, I’m going to do more than I did yesterday, and this time better! Not as much as we’d like to perhaps?

He talks about the workplace as a ‘University for self-development’. I love this definition of the workplace! Why? Because in the last few years I’ve come to realise that this is exactly what it is…whether you’re working for yourself or someone else, you have the opportunity to work to grow. I believe, that if more people viewed the work place as a University for self-development they would not only enjoy going to work, but would also get more from their work than just a pay check and the occasional pat on the back.

You can usually tell if a person is serious about their personal development to get their next promotion or if self-employed; improving the growth of their business, just by asking them what they are reading.

I often ask people I work with who start to complain about their workload or about a job they’d applied for and didn’t get “what are you reading right now?” This usually stops them in their tracks, tilt their head and look at me as if I’ve just spoken Swahili to them! “No really” I say, “what are you reading?” I then receive a variety of answers that range from ‘nothing!’ to ‘I can’t remember’ or if I’m lucky, the name of a book I’ve never heard of and they can vaguely remember themselves.

Now I’m not being judgemental here… I’m as guilty as anyone for not reading as much as I believe I should or would like to. This is why I often opt for audio books as they suit my lifestyle, especially when I’m travelling. No, my point here is that people who gripe and moan about not getting on or not being paid as much as they believe they should be, or not being able to attract as many clients as they need to make their business work, need to ask themselves ‘what am I reading right now to help me grow?’

Better still, ‘how can I use my workplace or business as a place of self-development to improve my chances of success?’

These are my answers (Hey, I’m no expert but they work for me!):

  • Read books that will help you understand yourself or people better. You will find some great examples on this website under the tab called Books.
  • If you don’t have time to read audio books are ideal, especially if you travel to work as half hour each way is an hour a day of listening; 5 days a week could be a book a week!
  • Take time to listen to what people are saying to you. You learn far more about people (and yourself) when you shut up and listen instead of talking…especially about yourself! I read somewhere once ‘a bore is someone who talks about themselves when you want to talk about yourself!’
  • See work as an education to be better than you are today; be willing to learn something new every day, put yourself forward for courses and coaching that will help you grow
  • Instead of whining about your job, work or business, stretch yourself to do something more or different than what you did the day before. You will amaze yourself…try it!
  • More importantly; decide to be happy at work and learn it’s your responsibility and decision and not someone else’s.

Whatever you decide…have a great day!

Blessings M x

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Perfect or Posted?

Time…in Assisi


I love to write…as those of you who have been following me know.

So why am I not writing more than I have? What’s holding me back, causing me to wait,  contemplate, consider and …well… procrastinate? Hmmm, believe I found out this evening following a call with my dear friends from all over the world on our monthly Skype call we committed to do to stay connected. Such a great bunch of people who have so many gifts to share!

During the call we had so many great stories to share of the work we are doing and as usual we ran over our time. However, not before we found a common thread of a core belief we all have about the power of thought. It was as I was enthusiastically recommending Napoleon Hill’s book ‘Your Right to be Rich’ (One of the many audio books I listen to on my travels) and went on to explain about the lineage of how he was connected to Dale Carnegie and W. Clement Stone, when one of the team started talking about and recommending David Neagle.

Turns out David Neagle is linked to us via a very dear friend and great coach of ours. He is also linked and connected with my hero and someone I have admired for years; The one and only Bob Proctor…who, by the way, was mentored by Napoleon Hill many years ago. Less than twelve months ago, I had the great good fortune to have a VIP breakfast with Bob and a few others who attended one of the many events he was speaking at last year.

It was one of the most memorable moments of my life…but that’s another story for another blog!

Anyway, I digress. I found out why I’m not writing as much as I could, should and want to. It came to me as I came off the Skype call, with my head filled with ideas and words and stories that I so want to share with you all. Then came the excuses; it’s late, I have to get up early tomorrow, I don’t have time, I’ll just look up David Neagle on the net just to see, and then…..trumpets please….! The big reason:

‘It will take too long as I have to write it, type it and post it (with a picture) so I won’t bother for now.’ Typical. I’d rather it be perfect than posted!

No more excuses. Or ‘Excuses be Gone!’ as Dr Wayne Dyer would say!!

So here I am way past midnight, typing direct into wordpress, fast as I can so I can get this message to you and share the point in this. Don’t wait to be perfect…just do it. Or in my case, just post it! And more importantly; Stay connected with who you are and what you love to do, whatever that may be.

Goodnight dear reader!

M x



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Darling Buds of May

Darling Buds of May

Gardening is one of the many things I enjoy doing once I’m out there! The effort it takes to keep on top of things is always well rewarded with lush lawns and fragrant blooms that remind us of what life really is about (for me any way!) especially when I stop and ‘smell the roses’ as they say. Try it. It really is a joy to behold if you linger long enough to stay in the moment and stare at the beauty that has exploded out of an unsuspecting bud.

Some fragrances remind me of days gone by; memories start flooding in as the scent from a certain flower drifts across my senses and I’m transported back to a time when I’m five years old and in my grandma’s garden. The smell of privet when in flower does this…oh, and the gorgeous waft of Alyssum. This particular plant; covered in a mass of tiny white flowers, gives off a strong fragrance and will re-seed anywhere so well worth popping those into your summer bedding.

I love to see the darling buds of May about to burst open like the one the photo I took shown below of a Rhododendron busting at the seams to get out! They hold such hope of what’s to come, of all the possibilities that new life brings to an early summer garden.

I’m sharing these thoughts with you today because this simple action of taking the time to look closely and smell a flower or plant, offers a glimpse into a world that evolves around us that too often gets missed as we race by in this ever speeding, fast paced world that we live in. We get to see a different kind of life form to our own that deserves just as much respect as we give ours. A life that asks for nothing more than occasional rain, good soil and a sunny morning to bloom it’s little heart out and give you the scent and colour of its life for you to look at and enjoy at your pleasure.

Bursting Bud

Just for once stop and smell the roses…today.

M x

May 2012


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Create and Inspire

The piece of art you see above was created by a very special young lady in no time at all…and it got me thinking; if someone so young can express their art and create something that quick, what else can we create in an instant?

Things are moving so fast these days it’s hardly any wonder that we struggle to keep up with technology or even our emails! The demands on our time now make relaxing a past time we strive to achieve rather than a regular part of our daily lifestyle.

I speak from experience as working in a full time job takes up much more than a third of my life with the demands of lengthy hours and travel. It means I rarely get time to relax and create as much as I’d like to, and I’m sure many of you feel the same at times.

However, never a day goes by when I don’t have the desire to write or create no matter how little time is left at the end of the day.

One of the things this certain young lady has taught me over the years is how important it is to stop and take time to create. Over the years we spent many hours drawing, writing, designing ‘magazines’ and new games, creating characters for a book I was writing for her, choreography for a dance we made up or making invites for a club we imagined! These are hours that I will treasure for the rest of my life as they were moments in time where I was able to be…just be, and enjoy the moments that I call ‘making memories’.

I have a very dear friend that suffered a great loss way sooner than she should have done in her lifetime. Through this experience she learned the precious gift we call the ‘present’ and how important it is to treasure each and every experience with friends and family. After many years of buying each other gifts for birthdays and Christmas, we agreed we had enough ‘things’ and instead decided to just make memories instead by buying each other tickets for the theatre or going for a meal and occasionally visiting places we hadn’t been before.

The memories we make along the way form the pattern of our life. We spin our own web of experience and we are born to create. Whether that be art, music, design, decorating, building, crafts, gardening, writing, cooking, making a home or having children. It’s an integral part of who we are.

We create our reality by the way we think, the choices we make and the behaviours we adopt. So it’s worth thinking good thoughts, being mindful of our choices and behaving in ways that will benefit others so we can enjoy the rewards its brings; like seeing the joy on the face of a child when you sit for a while and create something together that you will remember for the rest of your days…

M x


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